Stem Cell Harversting

My stem cell harvest has been booked for my birthday of all days. It consists of having a large needle put into one arm and a smaller one in the other. Actually it seems the veins in my arms have had it due to previous chemo and now there will be a pipe put into my groin. How great.

Then for four hours they pump blood out of the big needle into a cetrifugal machine that seperates the stems cells from my blood, and then puts the blood back through the small needle into me. These stem cells are then frozen, I pressume, for use at a later date. What later date I am not sure. The stem cell transplant takes about 4 weeks in hospital. I really want to enjoy the summer and totally don’t want to do it. I saw my oncologist yesterday and he’s into me having it (not surprisingly) but I don’t want to be in here for a month while the sun is shining outside. I’ve thought about maybe delaying it until September but that is three months away. Not sure if they’d be up for that. In the mean time I have some alternative healing tricks up my sleeve. I’ll wait until I reavel them to the general public since some may consider them fairly wacky, due to ingorance or being afraid of the unknown or being generally not understanding and thinking ‘modern’ medicine is the greatest things since drug patenting.

Haha, don’t think you know it all. There’s much more to life than this materialistic plain that we live in/on. This dis-ease has thrown me into discovering the other sides of life much quicker. I’ve always questioned things I am told and this is no exception.

Just a few thoughts whilst in here.

I’ve been in three days now and things are going ok. Chemo does make me very tired but I got a very good nights sleep last night and am hoping for the saem tonight. I have had a torrent of visiters which is always very nice. Thanks.

The water retension, just like last time has started to set it. I’ve told the nurses about it some hopefully this time something can be done about it before it really takes over. Last time it took a good week once out of hospital to clear. Some diuretics, and otherwise prune juice should do the trick.

Whilst being in here I dream of doing very simple things. I really feel like going to play pool. Going on a weekend camping trip with friends. Over the past year I’ve noticed I’ve become much less materialistic. I appreciate the little things in life. The things that mean something. I’ve realised that things we buy are just ‘things’. Yes, they’re good and are fun but they are just things. When I dropped a pile of CDs onto my brand new laptop keyboard and broke the keys I just wasn’t that bothered. In the past I would have had that sinking feeling in my stomach but this time it was nothing. Annoyance, that’s all, and good. It’s fixed now and it didn’t cost a thing. Nothing to worry about. The suns out; I want out of here.

Are You In, or Are You Out?

After a little bit of uncertainty whether I was coming into hospital or not due to bed availability issues, I am in. After a succesful blood test I have this time had a Groshing line in. These are similar to Hickman lines but the installation procedure is different; and this time I was fully awake to experience it. No tomazepan or morphine this time, just a bit of local anastheatic. I also had two students watching the procedure so that meant a full commentary of exactly what was happening, even though I couldn’t see it, which included an in depth review of what can go wrong; how confidence inspiring. It wasn’t too bad though but it is weird having so much pressure applied to your chest whilst they feed the pipe through without actually feeling any pain. I am pleased to announce that my line doesn’t include any of those crazy, chest stabbing, clamps. And as I’m not starting the chemo I can leave the hospital this evening and go out for dinner with Imelda.

Life with a cold head

Forgot to mention that this time it was a very quick hair loss scheme. On the previous chemo (ABVD), although I didn't lose all my hair, what I did lose was a very slow progress. I guess different types of chemo, and different people have very individual reactions. The majority of the public have no idea there are so many different types of chemo, relying entirely on the media's depiction of chemotherapy. This usually has a character losing all their hair from one soap episode to the next. Although cancer is a very much spoken about and advertised subject people are very in the dark about it all. There are so many people I speak to that have never even heard of the lymph nevermind what it actually does...but then, doctors haven't a clue about what's good and bad for lymph (diet wise).

This isn't an attack on the public at all. I was in the dark as well but this has been going on for such a long time now that it is hard to remember what it was like to not have such a detailed databank on cancer. I'm not even saying that people should have this knowledge.

Some good friends mentioned that I now look like Lex Luthor. A mastermind? Yes. A criminal? No..erm, yes, on some levels.

Garibaldi? No, Tommybaldi

I've been back a few days now after my excellent time in Rome. It was a greatly needed break. A break from everything, I ate what I wanted, I drank lots (well, at €3 for half a litre of house wine it would be rude, and stupid, not to).

It was a holiday of two halves, the first being in the city, and as always was days of constant trekking that really tire you out. My feet were aching so much. Then after four days we moved to a campsite north of the city; stayed in a cabin. It had a pool, a great restaurant and bar, and lots of hot sunshine...as well as lots of Germans and Dutch ladies ;)

I had noticed a lot of hair on my pillow in the mornings whilst at the hotel. So I decided to give my head a good rinse under the shower. When I looked in the mirror it turned out I had a big bald patch on the side of my head. For the next day I wore a cap, then I decided to just pull it all out. After a procedure that lasted a lot longer than I thought, which ended in shaving the areas that were holding on I am now completely bald. Having had the chance to sun my egg head I don't look ill bald but rather bald by choice. This is many due to my eyebrows still being in full swing. I hope I can hang onto them throughout the treatment.

Back into hospital on Monday for a Hickman line immediately followed by 5 days of chemo. Now I know how I feel during and after it I am dreading it. Hopefully I can prepare better for some things though. Anything to alleviate the utter shitness of it all must surely be a good thing.

on the morrow.

I had my Hickman line out yesterday. It was an odd experience; I had an injection and it all went numb. Then there was lots of pushing a pulling and it tickled a bit. Not bad at all, but I had a paper towel over my head so I couldn't see any of it. I don't like seeing things like that (although I am able to watch injections now, I've had so many). Anyway, I can enjoy the holiday now with no risk of infection. I need it. I'm completely exhausted.

by far the worst thing... (warning, unsavoury talk)

Back in High School I was in the basketbal team. We were called the Royds Hall Chili Peppers, but I had at one point suggested the 'Royds Hall Hemmers' . Little did I know how terrible the often joked about hemmoroid could be. It seems some types of chemotherapy bring them on. ESHAP is one of them. Along with bleeding gums and bloody noses comes the other spot for small veins near the surface of the skin, the anus.

My God, is it painful. I fear the daily toilet trip. It's the worst thing about chemo and I don't remember being told about it in the side effects lecture. It's time to go to the chemist and buy some preparation H. Maybe I can convince them I just got a new tattoo...

a new day, a new hope

Right, lets start by saying that this day will be better than yesterday's disaster. After the car had imploded I got a call from Mark, 'the sites down!' says he. On further investigation it turns out we have gone 80gb (80!) over the bandwidth limit. If a video works out at about 30mb on average that means over 2600 viewings in the past month. I didn't think that was possible but Mark seems to think it may have been considering all the coverage it has had with the launch night, news reports etc. Anyway, the host didn't think to tell us we had used that much bandwidth and along with it a huge bill. No, their answer was to just pull the site. No warning. That's great business sense, NOT. It should be back online soon when Mark hands over the keys to his credit card.

Oh yes, after much deliberation I'll be getting my Hickman line taken out today. I figure for the 2 hours work it will mean total peace of mind for my trip away. So there you go. I'll let you know how it goes.

the car! I mean, he wrecked it, he totalled it...

I thought, mmm, I'll just pop out to vote and then I'll come back and have lunch. Ten minutes...

Parked outside the school with the poling station, voted, came out. My cars trying to start itself; chugging away. So I ran over to it put my key in the ignition to switch it off, but it is off. Then I notice the black smoke coming out from under the bonnet. What do I do? I ran back to the poling station and said 'my cars on fire, what shall I do?' The unanimous answer was to call the fire brigade, which I did. After a lot of explaing exactly where Yeadon Westfield Junior School was (right around the corner from the fire station), the care taker turns up with an extuingisher and promptly extuinguishes it. Not in time to save the car...all the electrics are burnt out and because it's 10 years old it will be a write off.


Hang around an hour and take all I can from the car. It gets taken away never to be seen again. I was very hungry.

I wonder what we will get. Either way some money will be lost and there's all the hassle of finding a second hand reliable car. It was such a good car, never let us down, and now this.

p.s. anyone recognise the title of this post? Answers on a virtual postcard please.

COMPLETELY off topic, then completely ON topic.

An apology on beforehand but this is part of my geek status (off the coolest nature I assure you). I got a Mac and it's the greatest computer I ever owned. I just saw the new Apple adverts and you have to see them. They are funny: New Mac Ads

I also dropped a pile of CDs onto my keyboard and the D and G keys snapped off...but thanks to Apple Care that will be costing me a fat zero.

And on topic. I feel great right now. Had a really good bank holiday weekend, tiring, but great. It seems one recovery day for each day of chemo is required. That formula is based on the highly scientific view base of one chemo session, one time. I'll let you know how long it takes next time...

The holiday to Rome looms. Yesterday I had a call from my long lost auntie (long lost in the sense that she rarely speaks to my mother and I haven't spoken to her for a looooong time). Anyway, she has been a nurse for a loooong time and expressed her absolute horror that I was going on holiday whilst in the possession of a Hickman line. She stated that she works in a sterile environment baby intensive care unit where they use them and even there they get infections. A baby died recently due to an infection in the Hick. Because it is straight to a major artery any infection can be extremely dangerous. The immortal words 'You could die' were uttered. Then She pleaded with me not to go on holiday.

I am going on holiday. In the words of the Vandals 'Nothing is going to ruin my holiday'. Although I am slightly perturbed at her utmost verbal attempt to stop me from going. I have sent an email to my oncology nurse expressing my concerns and stating what my auntie said. No reply as yet...