the Journey

I could have started the chemo yesterday but decided to wait until the 17th of April. This gives me a bit of time to get my head around it all. It also, potentially, gives the dis-ease time to spread. But, in this time I'm going to do my best to let go of the issues that keep making me ill. I was completely clear just a few months ago, chemo continued to 'zap' anything that may be left. Then here it is, just a few months later, back again.

To me this is trying to tell me something. My body is trying to tell me something. I need to let go of negative past experiences that I am holding on to. How do I do this? It's no secret that I am into homeopathic medicine and spirituality. No, that doesn't mean religion; I don't particularly subscribe to any kind of organised religion, but that doesn't mean to say you can't be spiritual. I believe there is a way to let go of this dis-ease without the use of any pharmaceutical drugs. I have used them in the past and I don't regret it, but then why is this cancer returning? This cancer isn't something with a direct causation like smoking or asbestos poisoning; at least I don't think so. I lead a healthy active life. So I don't believe that shocking my body with incredibly toxic drugs will 'save me'. I do believe they can buy you more time, and also the experience of cancer itself can make you look at life in a different way and therefore allow you to heal, but it hasn't happened with me yet. Over the course of the next month I am going to try and experience my thoughts and emotions at their deepest level and find out what direction my life needs to take. Others have done, so why can't I? I created this cancer, so I can destroy it. If there's a way in, there's a way out.

There's a video by Brandon Bays on monday9am.tv (click 'Film of the Week', then 'Play' - it's only on there this week though). She did it, and she has developed a program to help yourself called 'The Journey'. There's a book and more. I have booked myself on a Journey weekend in London on the 7th and 8th of April. Again, this isn't a guaranteed success as I will have to do the work, and I am going to get myself mentally ready and begin the process before this.