day 1

well, day 1. I didn't get very far. What happened was, last Wednesday/Thursday I noticed a very small rash at the base of my spine. I felt a bit run down and I wondered what it was but it didn't look serious. I though maybe it was some toxins coming out after my Aqua Detox. By Sunday it was a HUGE rash, on the right side of my body, with blisters, soreness and generally unappetising.

First thing Monday morning I went to the doctors. It turns out I have a rather nasty case of the Shingles. I am lucky because it often means a lot of pain, but mine isn't too bad, apart from the soreness of the rash and the position of it makes it had to sit and sleep.

I have been given some pills that shoul clear it up. Shingles is a re-currence of the chickenpox virus that sits in your body, dormant, until it decided to flare up in immuno-compromised people - i.e. chemotherapy/cancer sufferers. It looks better already today as it dries out, but it will take a few weeks for the new skin to replace the rash.

Is i possible the detox caused my body to eject it out into my skin? Not sure really...

So, anyway, I decided to not do the fast since I may be needing some nutrition. What I've decided to do is to live on a raw juice diet, with a green leafy meal in the evening. That should boost my immune system. I've also stopped drinking for the time being - which may annoy me somewhat since I'm going to a bonfire on Saturday where, apart from the fire, the most common theme will be alcohol.

extreme measures

This fungal infection has been going on for months now. I have been told that is is Candida Krusei, a similar form to Candida Albicans. The body can usually cope with fungal infections, creating anti-bodies to deal with them just as it would with any other ill-ness. A compromised immune system allows the infection to get out of hand. Despite the chemo I received my immune system seems ot be very good at fighting things like colds but I just can seem to shake off this candida.

Yesterday I noticed some spots at the base of my spine and on my right hip. I found this quite alarming as I am doing various things to fight it but obviously I am not doing enough. I dug out the book 'Conquering Cystitis' by Dr. Patrick Kinglsey - the doctor who treated me about 2 years ago when I was secondly diagnosed with cancer - he has since retired. There is a lot of incredibly useful inforfation in there relating to all sort of problems that you wouldn't think were fungal.

I have decided to do a 5 day fast starting next Monday. I will eat nothing, and I can only drink water. I have done some further reasearch and while it won't be a pleasant experience, it will be extremely benificial. I feel I need to do something extreme to nip this i the bud before it gets even more out of hand. Therefore I am not planning on doing anything at all next week that involves leaving the house as I'm sure my energy will be down.

I shall report my findings in this very space...

aqua detox, friend or foe?

One of the re-occuring advices I have been receiving is to clear my liver and kidneys of the harmful chemo-therapy drugs. Chemo drugs deposit in the kidneys and can cause further cancers later in life. I try to drink lots of water, and juice 3 times a week. At times I can feel the congestion in my kidneys and it is always something that gets mentioned when I have 'alternative' therapies.

One that I recently started is called 'Aqua Detox'. It involves placing you feet in a bowl of water (foot spa style), which contains an electrical unit, which is attached to a control box. Saline is placed in the water and a (very) small electrical charge is passed through the water. This then draws toxins out through the thousands of pores in the feet. The results are dramatic with the water turning brown, almost black by the end of the half hour treatment. There was also a lot of fatty, frothy scum on the surface of the water. It was a nice treatment and my feet felt great. Note also that section of your feet a linked to every organ in your body, reflexology style.

This was last Monday. Here I am at 4am on a Wednesday morning unable to sleep because of 'burning' in my kidneys. It's a feeling I know well from when I was having chemo. My presumtion is that, having had the treatment, the toxins have been dislodged and are causing some irritation. This doesn't particularly worry me as it makes complete sense, and many detox therapies that I have had and read about speak of returning symptoms as the toxins move around the body on their way out. Think of it like a jar of water with sediment in the bottom. If you shake it up the sediment will mix with the water and turn it cloudy. The same is happening in my body, and as it begins to settle again it is finding new places to deposit itself. Hence detox requires a regular, prolonged program.

The company that produces the machine is Aqua Detox.

I have done a search on Google and it has brought up some interesting comments regarding this treatment. There seems to be a lot of disagreement over whether the treatment actually does anything or whether it is just another scam. Mainly it speaks about the fact that the browning of the water is due to the iron element in the water rusting. I can see that, when I started my treatment I saw brown coming from the element. In fact I can understand all the arguments against, as there often are with 'alternative' procedures, especially from the conventional medicine world (the same one that gives doctors an optional 1 hour session on nutrition and its role in health? - excuse my cinisism). The fact is, brown water from iron or my feet, that it has stirred something up in my kidneys. I am looking forward to my course of treatments and the health benefits it will bring. I will continue to report my findings.

Me at the Slackers.

Remember I was so excited about the Slackers? Well I went, I saw, I LOVED it!

hamster jam.

So things are still going well for me. I have been seeing a Chinese medicine man recently who has prescribed me with some Shiitake pills, and is treating my meridian points via my ears (ears have 180 points relating to parts of the body). I have had a tincture made up to help rid me of the fungal infection - which has nearly cleared up. I am also continuing to receive Radionic treatment and tablets from my Homeopathic doctor. Then there's the healer who I go and see on a regular basis to balance me. Oh, and I go to a meditation course and try to meditate a few times a week.

Quite a busy healing lifestyle. And it's not exactly cheap either, but it's only money and I prefer this to going into hospital.

I am going to Amsterdam for 3 days on Monday with some friends. I have been plenty of times but always with my girlfriend, this time it's 5 lads in the international city of sin and, I have to say, I'm vey much looking forward to it!

The Bogeyman

Right, this is the story so far:

At the moment I am refusing treatment. About 6 weeks ago I had three night sweats in a row, and night sweats are always the first sign of cancer for me. So I got all worried and got a scan at the hospital. The results showed that there was 'something' there. The doctors were very much 'maybe it's back'. Either way they wanted me to begin that very intense chemotherapy and stem cell transplant. I said that I would have it. However, since that point I have had no more night sweats, I am not fatigued, and I'm not losing weight so I've put my treatment on hold. I don't want to go through all that on a 'maybe'. Additionally, I have been doing a little bit of research (as in I typed into Google!) and around that time I started to get a fungal infection in my hands and feet as a result of my lowered immune response due to previous chemotherapies. I still have it today and it's proving to be a pain to get rid of since it only shows up in certain spots but is in fact throughout my body. Anyway, fungal infections can cause night sweats and enlargement of lymph nodes. Based on that I want to wait and see what happens. In the mean time I am on homeopathic remedies and more to try and clear this up. It's been and is being a difficult time again as I can't seem to shake off the 'in limbo' situation of having (had) cancer. But I am learning to live with it and I'm having a really good time in my life right now.

I am also going to see the Slackers on Sunday! Can't wait.

from zero to heaven in seven.

It seems my lack of total commitment to positive thinking has helped me overcome the news of my next involuntary hurdle. I am soon to be graced with 3 months of pin-cushion hell as I undertake 2 more ESHAP sessions followed by a BEAM with Stem Cell Transplant. Oh the joys of life.

In other news, it does mean I can (hopefully) go and see the Slackers in Sheffield and Samiam in Leeds, but will miss Rancid.

waiting...

Yesterday I had a CT scan. Today I will get the results. I haven't had a nightsweat for weeks now. If it wasn't for the petit pois size I lumps under my right arm I would not be feeling like this. I don't know how to feel. I don't want to feel posisitve because I don't want my hopes dashed.

I had totally resigned myself to the fact that I needed more treatment but since I've had no more symptoms...

I guess I'll find out in about 9 hours.

why oh why oh why oh why!

I found a couple of small lumps under my arm. So I've pretty much resigned myself to the fact that I gotta go into hospital and have a stem cell transplant. I'm pretty annoyed about it but the thing that drives me insane is this:

My favourite band of all time (along with Sublime) are the Slackers. They are ska band from New York. They are just incredible. Check out The Slackers Website. Many moons ago when I played saxophone in a band called Lubby Nugget we had a support slot with them in Cardiff. We didn't play the show because the band was going through some difficult times and the guitarist decided he wasn't playing it. Earlier this year I had tickets to go and see them in London. I couldn't go because of treatment. I still have the tickets and use them as a bookmark. Now I've seen they are playing in Sheffield on October the 1st. Even if everything happens on the dates I expect I will be only just out of hospital on this date. This is no time to go to a crowdy, sweaty, gig with low immunity.

F U C K !

calm down

I went to see a healer yesterday who made me feel a whole lot better. Then I went to the hospital. My bloods were fine. They checked for lumps and couldn't find any. I will be having a CT scan next week. Here's hoping...