by far the worst thing... (warning, unsavoury talk)

Back in High School I was in the basketbal team. We were called the Royds Hall Chili Peppers, but I had at one point suggested the 'Royds Hall Hemmers' . Little did I know how terrible the often joked about hemmoroid could be. It seems some types of chemotherapy bring them on. ESHAP is one of them. Along with bleeding gums and bloody noses comes the other spot for small veins near the surface of the skin, the anus.

My God, is it painful. I fear the daily toilet trip. It's the worst thing about chemo and I don't remember being told about it in the side effects lecture. It's time to go to the chemist and buy some preparation H. Maybe I can convince them I just got a new tattoo...

a new day, a new hope

Right, lets start by saying that this day will be better than yesterday's disaster. After the car had imploded I got a call from Mark, 'the sites down!' says he. On further investigation it turns out we have gone 80gb (80!) over the bandwidth limit. If a video works out at about 30mb on average that means over 2600 viewings in the past month. I didn't think that was possible but Mark seems to think it may have been considering all the coverage it has had with the launch night, news reports etc. Anyway, the host didn't think to tell us we had used that much bandwidth and along with it a huge bill. No, their answer was to just pull the site. No warning. That's great business sense, NOT. It should be back online soon when Mark hands over the keys to his credit card.

Oh yes, after much deliberation I'll be getting my Hickman line taken out today. I figure for the 2 hours work it will mean total peace of mind for my trip away. So there you go. I'll let you know how it goes.

the car! I mean, he wrecked it, he totalled it...

I thought, mmm, I'll just pop out to vote and then I'll come back and have lunch. Ten minutes...

Parked outside the school with the poling station, voted, came out. My cars trying to start itself; chugging away. So I ran over to it put my key in the ignition to switch it off, but it is off. Then I notice the black smoke coming out from under the bonnet. What do I do? I ran back to the poling station and said 'my cars on fire, what shall I do?' The unanimous answer was to call the fire brigade, which I did. After a lot of explaing exactly where Yeadon Westfield Junior School was (right around the corner from the fire station), the care taker turns up with an extuingisher and promptly extuinguishes it. Not in time to save the car...all the electrics are burnt out and because it's 10 years old it will be a write off.


Hang around an hour and take all I can from the car. It gets taken away never to be seen again. I was very hungry.

I wonder what we will get. Either way some money will be lost and there's all the hassle of finding a second hand reliable car. It was such a good car, never let us down, and now this.

p.s. anyone recognise the title of this post? Answers on a virtual postcard please.

COMPLETELY off topic, then completely ON topic.

An apology on beforehand but this is part of my geek status (off the coolest nature I assure you). I got a Mac and it's the greatest computer I ever owned. I just saw the new Apple adverts and you have to see them. They are funny: New Mac Ads

I also dropped a pile of CDs onto my keyboard and the D and G keys snapped off...but thanks to Apple Care that will be costing me a fat zero.

And on topic. I feel great right now. Had a really good bank holiday weekend, tiring, but great. It seems one recovery day for each day of chemo is required. That formula is based on the highly scientific view base of one chemo session, one time. I'll let you know how long it takes next time...

The holiday to Rome looms. Yesterday I had a call from my long lost auntie (long lost in the sense that she rarely speaks to my mother and I haven't spoken to her for a looooong time). Anyway, she has been a nurse for a loooong time and expressed her absolute horror that I was going on holiday whilst in the possession of a Hickman line. She stated that she works in a sterile environment baby intensive care unit where they use them and even there they get infections. A baby died recently due to an infection in the Hick. Because it is straight to a major artery any infection can be extremely dangerous. The immortal words 'You could die' were uttered. Then She pleaded with me not to go on holiday.

I am going on holiday. In the words of the Vandals 'Nothing is going to ruin my holiday'. Although I am slightly perturbed at her utmost verbal attempt to stop me from going. I have sent an email to my oncology nurse expressing my concerns and stating what my auntie said. No reply as yet...

call me crazy

...but I just got a file out of my toolbox and got rid of the sharp edges on these Hickman line clamps. HAHA!

I'm out...for now.

I went in to Jimmy's last Tuesday. I started off in a shared ward but was soon given my own on-suite room. The chemo itself went better than I thought it would. No sickness, or anything nasty to speak of; apart from a bit of acid coming back up making my taste off and making me feel a bit queezy. Nothing I couldn't handle.

I had an infection in my Hickman line and therefore was given copious volumes of anti-biotics straight down the Hick-pipe. I'm not sure if it ws partly this or all the chemo but I now have swollen feet, ankles, head etc. I guess like last time I just have to wait for my body to say 'off with thee' and then spend the next 10 hours rushing to and from the toilet with sore a bumb!

In the mean time I am fat headed.

A big thanks to everyone that came and visited me; most appreciated and made the tme go so much quicker. The lumps in my neck have severely gone down and I look much better. I don't feel that great, it can only be described as a 'fog' all around me. I can't quite concentrate on anything properly for long. Saying that I have got most of my brand spanking new MacBook Pro set up. But that's probably me just being a geek.

Back in on Monday for a blood test and lots of hanging around. If there are any problems then I'm going to get this Hickman line out because despite all the agro of it coming out and then possibly going back in, NOTHING is going to spoil my holiday to Rome which is now only 2 short weeks away. I've been waiting 20 years to go back there and the time has finally come. TTFN.

It's looming...

The day is almost upon me. Tomorrow I go in for the ESHAP chemo. It's no secret that I'm not looking forward to it in the slightest but I guess it's something I have to accept. I'm preparing by washing my dressing gown and all my pyjamas, rounding up a few books to read.

My Grandma is coming over for a few days to support me which is very nice of her. Imelda is planning on keeping me stocked up with healthy food since the vegan option on the hospital menu always consists of 'a baked potato - no cheese please'. "Would you like radioactive carrots with that?", "no thanks".

see you when I return...

Hickman Lines suck

I wrote this on the jimmyteenstv.com message board

"Is it just me or was the hickman line designed by some pharmaceutical hobNOB that was never going to have to endure one of these invasions of privacy?

First of all, why does there need to be about 30cm of pipe hanging out of my chest? Why not have a short bit of maybe aprrox 5cm which has an attchment on the end for attaching the longer bits when it is going to be in use. This way I don't need another uncomfortable plaster stuck to me 24/7.

Secondly, the little clamps that go on the part of the tube marked 'clamp here'. Why oh why oh bloody well why are these so sharp??!!?? Is it so they can just constantly irritate you, like the tube under you skin isn't irritating enough.

Like the majority of things I see it only takes me about 1 second to improve the design. It turns out most designers should not be designers at all. Just because they trained at some polytechnic doesn't make them good."

and there is alittle 'poll' for you to answer, so please do here

jimmyteenstv.com, it really is useful.

Even though I made the site I didn't realise the potential of it until yesterday when I decided to watch Sarah Ramsden - Part 2. It's about her time in hospital having Stem Cell Replacement Therapy. It doesn't look all that therapeutic to me, in fact it looks downright horrible. I'm not looking forward to it in the slightest. Have you seen the size of those pills she takes? A necessary evil I guess, or maybe not, time will tell.

little update

I have been biding my time before the barage of bodily assaults begin. I was meant to be having my Hickman line in today but after quite a bit 'moaning' it has been delayed until next Monday. That gives me exactly one week of extra swimming to get my lymph flowing. Apparently it is rather congested. I also got out, of my 'indoor' shed, my lymphosizer; which is one of those little trampolines. My aim is to bounce as much as I can. I run over to my iPod, put on a Cat Stevens song, and bounce. It's fun whilst the lymph juice dances around my body.

The only good thing to come out of this dis-ease so far, apart from me taking control of my own life, is that I was in the market for a brand spanking new iMac (you know, the computers that are so much better than Windows and their generic box counterparts could ever hope to be). Well, now I'm in the market for a MacBook Pro. This is so that whilst I am being drugged I can play, and maybe even do some work on the 1-inch thin most desirable laptop ever created. The only problem is that I will be on the adult ward at St. James' and while the children's ward gets internet, plasma TV, DVDs, every games console ever dreamed of, a pool table, table football, a sitting area, exciting books, coffee morning, pizza evening (great for the lymph NOT), etc. The adult ward gets, erm let me think, a second hand book box filled with Mills and Boone novels and possibly one of those horrible old TVs with 4 push buttons. Then there's Patientline. Don't get me started on the insult to humanity that is Patientline, I think it should be renamed 'Patient and Family Bankrupter'.

Oh, I just saw that this turned into a bit of a rant.

P.S. I'm not entirely sure what facilities the adult ward has but I'm not getting my hopes up.